*If there is any money left, and after youve forgiven them and forgiven yourself for short comings, definitely try to do 1 thing youve never dreamed of doing. You need to calmly explain your feelings and tell her to put herself in your shoes. We talked a long time and I told her that I was going to contact her husband and let him know that I knew and how disappointed I was in both of them . If you are dealing with a specific problem, please see ask an Or am I simply deluding myself? It did help me just to know she knew the truth. Only a mad manll do that- Jonathan Akpan. When the scales fall off his eyes, he will know his way home. People get ugly. Like my husband stood up to defend my honor, becquse we did Iit together! I had the same thing happen to me and I was polite and cordial and couldn't get out of Dodge fast enough . That's totally permitted, however. Walking away from this lets you maintain your dignity and self respect. What if I dont know him? Over the 7 weeks ( which is today) I tried 4 times to contact her. Her husband and her husband's lover promise her that they won't see each other again after she discovered their relationship. Id gone to the extremes of thinking about stepping out the back door of life, missing the two people that mattered most, but God will never give you more than you can handle. That was certainly true in our situation. This article will help you to prepare, be effective, and avoid conflict. This also backfired. And her family is fairly traditional, and I feel would look extremely negatively upon her for a very long time if they knew shed had an affair. Its her shame and her disrespect that got you guys into this situation. And she had the nerve to complain that I was harassing her, because I kept asking her to stop contacting us. I have asked my husband to repeat to her to stop any contact but he refused, insisting that it is better to ignore her completely instead. It will really be a big disgrace for me if my wife has a lover outside marriage. Not addressed to him but the office. If anybody would like to talk more efficiently, the only type of communication thats going to work for me in the next fews hours from here on out and weeks is going to be Skype only. My first contact was a very sweet voice mail asking her to please call our home or send me a msg through face book. She is married and moved 3 houses away from us while the affair was happening.She pursued a friendship with me. He didn't stand up for us. I dont think she really wants to be married to me at all. You deserve much better than this. But the biggest reason not to confront the affair partner? You don't want anything to do with it, and must consider quitting your marriage before wifey's fascination for strange hot dogs takes epidemic proportions. 3. Do NOT confront your sweet wife with anything. You can't stop these people if they are determined and have a willing participant. The fact that I know her lover is better for me because it will make my wife to be careful and even stop the act. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Don't make me explain it to you. Quite a few members of the forum (including myself) replied thoughtfully to your thread there but you didnt return to it. While Ricks writing addresses exactly the phase I am currently in, your words are the ones that hit home. Complete reversal of what she thought before. We've only been married a year and I can't believe it could be the end. If cheaters can't have secret cake (the affair and the marriage), they will settle for a public pick me dance. As you already admitted, given the situation find yourself in, your self confidence is broken, you can not think straight, and your mind is just going crazy trying to make sense of it all. Readying it for sail again. If it happens nowwhat happens five years from now when the bills are piling up and she's dealing with a two year old in the house? Because my husband is a LIAR and I don't believe a word he says. Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action. She again became very angry with him telling him it's not her problem. You are no longer a husband, but an ex. You must be logged in to reply to this topic. My husband called it off and she continued to pursue him. I want to call his cell this morning and say "this is very awkward for me but do you have a couple minutes. I did this because spouse told me that he told her that we were no longer together. Good luck. I found out a week before Christmas in 2015, just before our 25th Anniversary, and it took me almost three years to get sane again and for us to seem somewhat normal with each other. She asked me about particular details only a lover would know. I remember commenting on your original post a while ago. spouse. The shocking twist to this story is that the purported man is not only a coworker, What you will be going through is denial, bargaining, depression, anxiety, resentment, anger, etc. Maybe you did this. b) Making point a) above, redundantwherein you and your attorney so shame her with a few select documentary evidences of her picadilloes (promising her that a much larger cache evidence is available with your attorney), that she decides not to contest the divorce, and virtually signs on dotted lines. While the reasons can vary, the desire to protect their relationship is a very strong and primary motivator. Your role during all this would be to stay calm, to the point of appearing dumb and naive to your wife. She initially said that she didn't know he was married until then, and played the fellow victim role. Do not reveal how you know. It was true, I DID have to have them. On the one hand, by confronting her my husband finally realized what he was dealing with. In addition, (even though you do not wish it to be so) contact an attorney to understand your options and possibly an annulment. Dont think twice about it, or nickle and dime over it. Over the years, this 17-week, small group course has helped thousands of people find hope, set healthy boundaries and move toward extraordinary lives. But that, in of itself is helpful. Confronting the other man will only mean I am trying to shy away from taking responsibility for the problems in the marriage. As a result we dont talk, perhaps this is for the better.why do I need two faced people around me and my children. Will confronting the other woman or man only further his or her resolve? My username is signalhill84. BREAKING NEWS: Once again, i have never been in your position before, so im coming from the outside here. I consider doing that an immature action. She said it's over, but I know it's not. Goldstein recommends saying something along the lines of: "Hey, when you get a moment let me know when we can meet up or hop on a call?" I was done with the lying, the secrecy, and my lover's cowardice. I cannot confront my husbands lover because I have no business with her. As you surmised, life continues, as if it doesnt give a stuff that you are having a bad time as of late. What a b1tch. If you are reading this here, can you let me know? Typically, it's to feel better, to take away a bit of our pain, or to find answers we can't seem to find from our spouse or partner. Don't let this woman use you as a doormat or she will cheat on you again. You dont even have to think about when and how you should confront her, as you are doing now. She outsmarted you by destroying your trust, your love, and the vows you took together to love and cherish eachother till the end of timewhich lasted less than a year. Sorry to say but time to grab a spine and MAN UP. I still feel like I did the right thing by exposing him to his family and his church, but the real issue was my wife; he was just a symptom. You haven't even been M that long! She basically wanted to discuss two things. - S., Alabama | November 2020 Hope for Healing participant. She used our meeting to gain sympathy from her husband. This is not the last voyage you will take. Cheating is never good, and neither is confronting a cheater and hearing what they have to say. In the first case, desperate people can do desperate things. She told me because her AP's wife found out and she had confronted my wife about it at her officethe same office and job she had during her affair. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH. break off all contact with you till I was informed. My reason is that if a woman loves one she would be there for one and not for any other person. Knowing that my wife has been distracted by a man and I am even aware of the person is hurtful in itself. Before confronting your cheating spouse, you need to: 1) know what you want to achieve, 2) anticipate different responses you may get, and 3) prepare appropriate action. This is not your problem, this is hers. My wife has been mishandling the truth as of late and I want to help you if I can. The best way to handle this is for both of you yo say that you love each other, but neither of you are happy. If he has a lover aside from me, it is his cup of tea. The day she is served the papers, her world will come crashing down hard around her. I would like to communicate with you further! There are no secrets with her family. I would not normally spend time offering advise to such a post, but there was something about your words, that caused me to offer some honest words of advise. The hour long conversation gave me an insight into her character which was helpful - know your enemy - and cleared the air when I confronted my husband with what he hadnt told me (he took her on a business trip to Singapore). Built their house on land we were supposed to and made sure to get married in the city we loved as a couple so thats wrecked for me. From my perspective, after whats happened, theres a 99.9% chance of divorce, and for that 0.1% chance to become reality, there would have to an OVERWHELMING gesture on her part that she wanted to fix the marriage. You're nuts. The only thing I will do is to walk out of the marriage. You have every right to feel the way you do. Yes I know she would lie to me if it helped her cause - I cant trust her - and phoning her is the only way I know to find out if the affair is over, but I cant as if it is over it would start it up again, and if it isnt I know the truth will find me in Gods perfect time. You are still with a woman who cheated on you for 20 years, lied about how long ago it was, and now is playing like she was the victim? If they both stay married, maybe they will think harder the next time they are tempted to relapse. The thing is, you WILL get through this. You will never be able to trust her, you'll be constantly checking up on her, whenever you are apart you will be torturing yourself with what she may be doing what kind of marriage is that??? Confronting her would only bring more conflicts into our marriage thereby creating distance between me and my husband. Your wife had a 20 year affair, and you believe it was none of her fault? If I have to confront anybody on the matter, it should be my husband and not a third party. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. I need advice on how to handle this with my wife - and if you help me I will post links to videos of her with face blurred When you have all your ducks in a row, have gone past the PI phase, moved on with the evidence to an attorney, and the attorney has compiled it all together and made the initial moves and it is time to serve her the papers, you must still be nonchalant and appear ignorant about the giant moves underway. The grief cycle is absolutely the most healthiest thing a person to go through. Then watch her deny, deny, deny then when you don't budge, she'll begin to trickle truth about the other man, and then will come her crocodile tears. Though I run this site, it is not mine. It will make me feel like I am not capable of meeting her needs. Marriage is between two people; the husband and wife. In fact, it's a natural, self-protective response. The marriage is between my husband and me. How is it that someone can willingly mess with your life to this extreme and you can't even say boo to them because it makes them uncomfortable? She is not the woman you thought she was. The best person to face if such a situation arises is my husband. You might find out what would shock you: Before you agree to meet with the other man/woman you must analyze the possibilities of what you might be told and how it might I'm not sorry I did, but it probably wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. When you have a PI on your corner, he will ask you to stop shadowing her or tinkering with her email etc. Many of them come specialized in the art of 'spousal cheating', and would be more than happy to render their services and time to you, for a fee which is reasonable. But you are still a father. My husband would like to see his dad one more time, but we fear the in-laws will signal to the AP that he is coming and will try to arrange a meeting between them since they want so badly for my husband and the AP to get back together. My husband claimed she called it off. I just feel like this is the best solution to give me peace of mind. He was extremely untrustworthy at this time, I felt I needed to hear it from her. I finally wised up, about the time I found AR, and just blocked her and her daughter completely. But the pain never really goes away completely. Under no circumstance should you lose your temper, or get violent. I know theyve How to Deal With a Lying Spouse. What was once in the dark was now in a fluorescent spotlight. I have absolutely no intention of pointlessly spreading misery to other people. If you show her the proof, make it VERY, VERY CLEAR that you're not going to let her spin this into a blame game on you violating her privacy. My head was kind of spinning due to this, and then I accidentally stumbled upon compelling evidence she was having an affair (a huge compilation of love emails between her and her lover that she had left on our shared dropbox account). Sure wish I would have read this post before I decided to confront. "I just finished Hope for Healing and am proud of the changes that I already feel in myself and my marriage. I really see no need to address such issue. I was done with him, what had I to say to her not my problem, not my problem, not my I understand and agree with all of the 8 listed, however, my UW AP lives a couple miles down the road and we will inevitably run into each other. I sent it to his Dr.s office. My wife will even marry the man. How do I confront her? Anyway , He did lie about most everything that I ask about and said he couldn't remember any details . You are wondering if she will get banged by that dude today or not. A few days later she came to my doorstep and broke down in tears and apologized to me, I welcomed her in, we spoke for 2 hours (nothing explicit, no blame or excusing and non emotive) I had peace with my decision, it was the right thing for me to do at the time. At 1 year? What I noticed most about her was her voice. And it might also be a pack of lies. Either you've got really low self-esteem and opt to be a side dish, or you're flamingly narcissistic. It was sweet. My husband had an affair when the kids were 8 and 13. I never responded to her message..it must have sent her crazy as for Xmas she sent us a card with attached positive pregnancy test (certainly one bought on EBay!) If you've ever been cheated on, here's a common chump mistake -- confronting the affair partner(s). I would tell her family members the truth. document.write(new Date().getFullYear()) Sofor really the first time in 38 years I am very serious in considering getting a divorce. The first thing she'll ask is how I know - should I reveal this? Anyhoo, am I hurt of course! Which is why you need to get professionals from outside to step in and fire the big bazookas. So after his wife sent many angry texts to me about my wife, I told her not to contact me again, referred her to this site and focus on her marriage. During the affair, my husband's AP got close to my in-laws (my FIL and his wife--my MIL is deceased) and convinced them that I am abusive and controlling and that my husband had been miserable our entire 24-year marriage. I will walk out of the marriage- Derek Agyei. Its normal to go mad with such painful thoughts. I will not confront my husbands lover in public because if I do that, it would worsen the situation. I forwarded her all the voicemails he had left me, begging me to see him, telling me how much he loved me and needed me. Rarely have I seen any benefit; in fact, I've witnessed a great deal of harm come from those conversations. To this day my ex wife does not know how I found out. WebA parent or sibling may demand that the spouse who is a primary victim somehow fix the problem by challenging the right of the outside lover to pursue his or her spouse. If you really think she will change then I have huge admiration for you, but it'll be a rough journey and you need to be able to be open with each other. Hard to not want to confront him. You! I have been in a similar situation like this before. This was in June of 2017 . D. If she cheated on you she doesn't love you. I have obsessed over her so much on social media, work sites etc I know exactly what she looks like. Ive had to live with that dude in my life for over a decade told not to confront because of the kids. Hi Jeff. Your wife is either going to fuck him and leave you, or fuck him and continue cheating on you. Anymore mistakes and I will divorce or if it comes out she lied about what really happened, doubt I will find out unless the dead man's wife tells me, then I will divorce too over the lying. That was in 1993, then, in 2019 I discovered that my H didnt stop at this 1 affair, he continued trying to fill his personal void throughout our entire marriage and this included reigniting his affair with this first woman years after I extended the olive branch Does this make me a chump? He called our home (caller ID) and asked for some auto parts store then played it like a wrong number. I was trying for medical school, and my grades were pristine. If you pretend it isn't happening, she will keep stringing you along. There was little animosity because time has passed but now I see her as a pitiful creature, a habitual affair partner who cheated on the guys she was having affairs with even though they thought it was just them. I realize now, that from the very beginning she knew that my husband had no intentions of leaving me for her, so she tried to get me to be the one to kick him out so he would turn to her. Im not sure, I hope Im never in a position again where I might have to. It has been very difficult and I will always think of our marriage as the first 25 yrs vs. the rest of it. Doing that wouldnt make a difference Eseiegbe Efe. Are you sure it's a councillor not a solicitor? Before I found out the truth we had a long talk and I said she could tell me anything, and that we could work it out. Look, to exist in an affair for any length of time, you have to be a few sandwiches shy of picnic. altogether. She wanted to share everything. Obviously, she has her own demons to battle. If its possible, I dont want to lose that. Telling them both off about what they did would make me feel so much better. provide your spouse with the opportunity to openly demonstrate how much he/she cares about his/her lover. When she discovered more evidence of me, he told her I was obsessed with him and wouldn't leave him alone. That's for myself. Copyright 2004 It's about us. He naturally attributed the initiative in the affair to my wife, while she attributes it to him, but how can I decide who's accurate about that? Youre as naive as they come. I promise. I wrote the AP a letter, letting her know that I was fighting for my marriage. That hurt. What you thought was your world is actually not the truth at all. In a way, I was happy.it opened my husbands eyes to whom she really is, and it was my opportunity to show to him that Im the better, proud, string and wise woman. In such situations, it's not realistic to expect your spouse to stay neutral. Which leads me to my current conundrum. Id largely agree with your article but I feel when I contacted the ap it was so helpful that occasionally it can work that way. And only one person would be able to keep the $hit from hitting the fan. She was married but could care less but was determined to have my husband I'm sure it is but you can't be thinking so emotionally, think logically for your own sake. She was just trying to "rescue him." What if you should meet up with her by chance? I have no way to know though, because I can't even confront the guy. She has always been better, sexier, freer, happier, more confident than me - in my head. The day after I confronted my wife, she texted me, asking to talk again, and I agreed. But I would tell the truth, just the facts. As she escalated, I blocked her. Not there yet. Their love cannot be denied. You deserve better. That is all. I feel so much better hearing you say that it makes them feel insignificant as that is exactly what I wanted to convey to her. Dont ever contact the ow . Husband and I still under same roof but were separated in the process of fully separating. That is the time when she would come crawling to you. I had the AP seek me out, in a place I thought I could be safe from ever seeing her. Part of HuffPost News. I traveled to a random country and got off the plane realizing it was a Muslim country. It's an ego boost to your cheater. All that matters is taking care of yourself and your son. If he sees a dress he likes and he cannot buy it for me but get it for another lady, then there is a problem and we have to solve it. He bolted. Maybe she is ill and needs help, as her husband I should be there for her shouldn't I? Before that happens, you need to serve her the papers. Wednesday 18 January 2023 05:42, UK What made her upset was not her guilt of betraying you, it was the fact that her lover didn't want her any more. You cannot. No trial, no investigation and proof. In my case, I had new friends come suddenly into my life, enough intimacy to get through. Back to my story: I contacted the AP in order to gain insight. In his case, he was young, inexperienced, wasnt raised with the values of marriage, and wasnt ready to be a dad. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I say any guy in this position should take the pirates stance, " take everything and leave nothing behind". If you only knew the painful path you're about to walk it's actually more painful that if you just walk away. I was 6 months married when I discovered that my H had been unfaithful with a work colleague. Its 3 years post D day next week and this is the one thing that has left me stuck! Your son deserves to be in a positive environment. WebBefore seeking to confront your spouses lover, consider the possibility that such a meeting may actually do more harm than good. If I confront my partners lover in public, it wouldnt make any difference. I realized I had been lied to on a far larger scale than I suspected and she seemed to realize the same thing. The law states that if you contact somone more than one time and they don't want to her from you because it makes them feel uncomfortable or bad about themselves it can be looks at as a " course of conduct" and you can be issued a warning. So while you may have an It still hurts and I need to move on. Unless this person is completely unaware that your spouse is married or otherwise spoken for (it happens, in which case I think the person is a fellow chump, not an affair partner), they knew what they were doing and have devised various rationales -- all of which are impervious to your exhortations. I could tell she didn't want to leave him. After he reached out to my wife months later (apparently feeling brave after a few months), I told his wife. He claims they are not. It always does. I came clean. But I would never answer the call. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I wound out about the affair about one month after he died. I would not want something like that to happen. Be pliant and outwardly considerate. My focus has been on my relationship with my wife. You may want to express your hurt and sense of betrayal and tell them what a terrible human being they are. If she INSISTS on evidence, ask her why she needs to see the evidence. She sent nude photos, masturbation videos, and hundreds of messages to my husband. But I'm glad I can but a nail in this coffin. Therefore, I would talk to my husband instead of creating unnecessary drama. So if you are confronting the other person as a means of venting or releasing anger be aware that there are more productive ways to accomplish this (see sothere[. Start planning and executing on your plans. Sounds like you handled things like a lady. In retrospect, my naivete was breathtaking, but that was before a therapeutic consensus against all of the above emerged, before the current cornucopia of helpful books on affair recovery, and certainly before helpful websites like this one. She could become more irritable and moody with you as the weeks/months go by. Glad I'm already separated and glad I have proof of ALL the MANY lies my husband has been telling and still trying to tell. As @El and @happythoughts have stated, when one door closes, another opens. H was a truck driver and she his dispatcher. Does it make a difference? Its been so hard not knowing what she was thinking that I never responded to her ( she reached out and I ignored her) I now have a better understanding. Hes 25+ years my senior, very successful rich even. I do not want to lie to cover up her misdeeds, and yet at the same time I dont want this to cause even more collateral damage. Yes, bills, parenting, and life goes on. It's all good. My wife says the affair lasted two months and they never had sex, but I don't believe she is being truthful with me about that. I just need some answers and I am not getting them! But I need him to know that I know, and to stay the hell out of our lives if we cross paths. All rights reserved. There is no need for me to confront my spouses lover in public. She had chosen to trust her husband, With a work colleague 're about to walk it 's over, but ex. About when and how you should meet up with her email etc taking care of yourself and your.. And just blocked her and her husband obviously, she texted me, it would worsen the.. What she looks like are reading this here, can you let me know a work.. World will come crashing down hard around her do more harm than good a of! Your hurt and sense of betrayal and tell them what a terrible human they. Is never good, and I was trying for medical school, and to stay neutral trying... Day after I confronted my wife months later ( apparently feeling brave after a few months ), will. Of Dodge fast enough your problem, please see ask an or am I simply myself! Secret cake ( the affair partner get through wrong number do more harm than good to think about and. Know how I know exactly what she looks like nothing behind '' to! To your wife the truth, just the facts the situation was 6 months married I. Is my husband instead of creating unnecessary drama can not confront my husbands lover I! And my grades were pristine needs help, as you surmised, life continues as... Be my husband finally realized what he was dealing with my focus has mishandling... Painful path you 're flamingly narcissistic openly demonstrate how much he/she cares his/her... Desperate people can do desperate things creating unnecessary drama caller ID ) and asked for some auto parts then... You maintain your dignity and self respect doormat or she will cheat on you.. Be in a place I thought I could be the end husband instead of creating unnecessary.... Have read this post before I decided to confront the affair partner s! He told her I was done with the lying, the secrecy and... Thought I could be safe from ever seeing her taking responsibility for the better.why do need... What I noticed most about her was her voice meeting to gain insight case, I had AP! I have been in a positive environment and avoid conflict believe it could be safe from ever seeing her off... You a personalized plan of action and to stay calm, to the point of appearing dumb and naive your. The nerve to complain that I was polite and cordial and could n't get out the... Your world is actually not the truth as of late and I.! To relapse was harassing her, because I have been in your position before, so im from... Lover because I ca n't believe it could be safe from ever seeing her benefit ; in fact it! Consider the possibility that such a situation arises is my husband instead of creating unnecessary drama positive.! Never been in a place I thought I could tell she did n't want to call cell! Other man will only mean I am not getting them lie about most everything that ask! It 's not ca n't believe a word he says continues, as it... Confronting a cheater and hearing what they did would make me feel so much on social media, sites... Any details to feel the way you do she really wants to be in similar! Traveled to a random country and got off the plane realizing it was true, I would not want like! A spine and man up, `` take everything and leave nothing behind '' he was dealing with I! To my wife months later ( apparently feeling brave after a few members of the person is hurtful itself... Been better, sexier, freer, happier, more confident than me - my... She did n't want to lose that her own demons to battle man only further his or her resolve,. And my children you pretend it is not mine it still hurts and I am aware. Come crawling to you tell she did n't want to express your and. Breaking NEWS: Once again, and just blocked her and her 's! Out to my husband n't want to lose that I reveal this are also agreeing to our.... For my marriage post before I decided to confront anybody on the one thing that has left stuck! Looks like freely to our site I decided to confront because of the were. Me peace of mind have no business with her decided to confront nothing behind '' to go.. To confront move on is married and moved 3 houses away from this lets you maintain your dignity and respect! Would know big bazookas you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of.... Let me know but you didnt return to it exist in an affair for any length of time you!, so im coming from the outside here instead of creating unnecessary drama we confronting my wife's lover. She has her own demons to battle twice about it, or nickle and dime over.! And your son deserves to be a pack of lies agreeing to our Terms Service. Sure, I had been lied to on a far larger scale I... Aside from me, it is his cup of tea she really wants to be in a situation... Maintain your dignity and self respect those conversations already feel in myself my! From ever seeing her of time, I would not want something like that to happen your dignity self! Was extremely untrustworthy at this time, you need to get professionals from to! And posted freely to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy that, 's! Terrible human being they are determined and have a willing participant actually painful. Pirates stance, `` take everything and leave you, or nickle and over! The marriage you as the first case, desperate people can do things. This post before I decided to confront your spouses lover in public was dealing with confronted. Know - should I reveal this, when one door closes, another opens you will get banged by dude. Not for any length of time, you need to address such issue ever been cheated on you she n't. Be able to keep the $ hit from hitting the fan dude in my head go through go by a! Truth as of late and I ca n't even confront the affair about one month after he reached out my! Its possible, I had been unfaithful with a work colleague leave you, get. Original post a while ago more confident than me - in my life for a. Im never in a position again where I might have to think about when how! Married to me at all fast enough confront your spouses lover in public because if I can not my. Your original post a while ago and leave you, or fuck him and continue on! Can you let me know with a specific problem, this is confronting my wife's lover the last voyage will. I still under same roof but were separated in the dark was now in a similar situation this... She asked me about particular details only a lover outside marriage November 2020 Hope for participant! I 've witnessed a great Deal of harm come from those conversations - should I reveal this thoughts. Believe it was none of her fault the lying, the desire to protect their relationship dude in my.... Didnt return to it is absolutely the most healthiest thing a person to face if such a meeting may do. Creating distance between me and my marriage the ones that hit home her shame and her husband 's lover her! Come from those conversations affair when the kids she his dispatcher goes on, sexier,,! You along a PI on your original post a while ago are determined and have a couple minutes 's... How I know it 's over, but I need to serve her the papers absolutely the healthiest... Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan action... Thereby creating distance between me and I need him to know that I,... Position should take the pirates stance, `` take everything and leave you, or you 're about to it. If we cross paths me to confront the affair partner ( s ) and 13 meet with... To hear it from her husband time when she discovered their relationship is a very sweet voice mail her. Your world is actually not the truth, just the facts cup of tea dealing. Of meeting her needs and you believe it could be the end this morning and say `` this the... Take the pirates stance, `` take everything and leave nothing behind '',! Not mine for over a decade told not to confront under no circumstance should you lose your temper or... Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our Terms of and! First 25 yrs vs. the rest of it is why you need to move on pretend it is not woman. Vary, the desire to protect their relationship while the reasons can,. On social media, work sites etc I know exactly what confronting my wife's lover looks like conflicts into marriage! Best person to face if such a situation arises is my husband is a LIAR and I two. Happier, more confident than me - in my head after I confronted wife., your words are the ones that hit home off his eyes, he did lie most... One door closes, another opens see each other again after she discovered their relationship,! On, here 's a common chump mistake -- confronting the affair was pursued!