What had been a theorySooki should come to Nashville for her chemowas now a fact. I presented him with the studies from Johns Hopkins. Sooki thought about it, or she thought about having to tell me. I was convinced it wouldnt show up and embarked on a full-scale exploratory mission into holistic healing, prayer, juicing, yoga, meditation, sound waves, and magnetic magic (this last one, highly recommended by a friend, but in a clinic run by a reality-tv star). I could have forgotten Sooki altogether in that moment, because even though I followed her story with interest, it was one of many stories. The more literary essays include an introduction to the stories of Eudora Welty (No writer I know of tells the truth of the landscape like Welty); pieces on book covers (I finally knew how to ask for what I wanted I would send my books into the world wearing the best suit of clothes I could find); childrens stories; sitting next to John Updike at a lunch at the American Academy of Arts and Letters; and perhaps my favorite, To the Doghouse, on literary influences. What Sooki is, Tom wrote to me in an email later, is all that is good in the world.. She took off her cap to show me the damage. She left her canvases as colorful as she led her life. I told Sister Nena the whole story while we sat in the waiting room, her foot propped up on a wheelchair. (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. He responded: mar. Can empty houses help solve homelessness? The ones who stayed turned out to be the ones I was interested in. When I look back on those first few months of the pandemic, all I will remember is recurrent pancreatic cancer. Sookis impending departure touched a memory I made a point of not revisiting: My sister and I flew from Tennessee to Los Angeles for one week every summer to see our father, and on the morning of the day we were going back to Tennessee I would start to cry. Karl is not waiting on a thank-you note, I promise. RELATED:Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons Friend and Assistant Dies from Pancreatic Cancer; See Their Heartfelt Tribute to the Artist, A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), Throughout her illness she painted, she saw beauty, she created and she never wavered, Wilson said. She was going to be stuck in a chair all day, which was why it was necessary to do it again at night when she got home. . . How was that possible? Farley trained for the NFL draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and his efforts paid off. This was eight hours of hard labor. Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms - including jaundice and weight loss - typically present at a later stage in the cancer's development. Her best friends lost everything in that fire. I went to the grocery store and piled up the cart. The treatments left her tired, but she was managing. When youre young youre getting high, and when youre old youre using plant medicine, like herbal insect repellent. More breath. I didnt know how the story would end. Its an honor, really. As the number spiked this week at 1700 U/L, I ran out of excuses, and my PET scan on Wednesday showed a return of the cancer to my liver. I would be in and out, other people would spend the night, which would be fine, plenty of room for everyone. We still had customers even if they couldnt come into the store, and they were fantastically loyal. Out on the tarmac, I could see her again exactly as she was, resplendent in her velvet coat, her black beret. They were waving. They were dead, the wires, werent they? Karl was home from work when we got to the house, and he and I showed Sooki around. We were about to go on. So, I was surprised on my first scheduled day of radiation to have another technician pop in with a red sharpie to make three large xs near the tattoos as additional points of reference and stick clear round stickers over them. By the time the book is written, there is little evidence of the initial spark or a long-ago conversation in California Pizza Kitchen. The last few months, the oncologists were watching the numbers and Western medicine offered nothing to do but to wait and see where the cancer showed up. Sooki had two young grandchildren in San Diego and made plans to bring them to an event I was doing there, but they didnt show. I wrote again. The next morning, we went to the bookstore early and picked out presents for everyone in her family. The same trial she was part of in Nashville had finally commenced at UCLA, twenty minutes from her house. may 21, 2019: Thank you for your concern about my medical procedure. Im sure these words cant adequately convey what was such a radiant message, but it stayed with me so strongly as I woke up during the night, and thats the best I can describe it. It was a shaggy dog of a story by a woman passionate about dogs, touching on a variety of subjects, including her friendship with Tom Hanks assistant Sooki Raphael; Raphaels treatment for cancer; the early days of the coronavirus pandemic; the art and craft of writing; and I kid you not psychedelic mushrooms. He claims our lives are better for all the people I bring into the house. In Tan-Tan there was no electricity at night, either. Seventy percent of participants rated it among the most personally meaningful and spiritually significant experiences of their lives. He rolled his eyes, but he kept reading. Shed scarcely left the house for more than three months and yet it was impossible to push the world back into the Mary Poppins suitcase. Youve been so nice, but you didnt sign on for this. She stood in the kitchen, holding her cup of ginger tea. I dont want to give that up., Youll never have to give up the friendship or the love, I said. The tumor in her liver was shrinking. I didnt know what I was supposed to do, she told me later. Get as many nuns on this as possible. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. Sooki, the middle daughter. PET scans) were showing no sign of disease. I was having trouble with my own volume now. As Sparky stopped and sniffed, I offered up Sookis recurrence as a story to tell, not a problem to solve. Sparky had crawled onto my chest and gone to sleep. It was over. You must have Mary Poppinss suitcase.. Of course I opted for tattoos. How had she known something was wrong? Hows the painting coming? I would ask. My little dog Rose, now ten years gone, came out to meet me, running giant circles of exuberance in the soft grass. He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world.". We didnt know each other, and for the most part our correspondence had come after this defining fact. They told me the story later: How after they landed, when they were all standing together on the lawn outside the small airport, a police officer came and told them they had to disperse. I leave the house at 6:30 am every weekday morning to make it down to the bottom basementfloor 2Bat UCLAs Westwood Medical Center by 7:30 am. The truth was that I had no idea how Sooki was doing, and I had no confidence that she would tell me. She was an expert in dealing with the medical system, after all. And it's such a funny thing. All across the country clinical trials were being postponed or abandoned in an attempt to deal with the overflow of patients being treated for COVID-19. I didnt know you had a husband!! I scooped up a handful for no reason and carried them with me. When I rely on my faulty memory, the pieces are free to move. Spanish for straight, direct. For a while she filled in for a friend and was the assistant to a film director, and then another friend introduced her to Tom, who was looking for someone. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. The days went on and I could feel Sooki slipping, hounded by her own indecision. Having lost his mom to breast cancer in 2018, he knew he wanted to be extra careful during the pandemic. Her father was in the hospital and she had driven down from Kentucky to take care of him. And he said, oh, well, ask her if she wants to send me her files. I cant thank her enough for how she raised me and because it was her who gave me all of that, um, spiritually, she, she just filled my heart with love and joy. I surely would go ahead with the dates I had scheduled in the States. She was Batgirl. Karl and the dog went out on the front porch to read the newspaper. . I told her I would pick her up at the airport. There was my grandmother, my father. I turned out the light and kept thinking about the leash, the marathons, the trail running, the yoga, the walking in the desert, the painting and painting and painting. Actress & Fitness Guru Jane Fonda, 85, Says Chemo Hit Me Hard Fighting Lymphoma Years After Breast Cancer, Rock Band Kiss Co-Founder Peter Criss, 77, Male Breast Cancer Survivor, Releases New Version Of Classic Dirty Livin, For Healthy Skin Month, Take Advice From Vanderpump Rules Star Ariana Madix, a Melanoma Survivor, and Speak Up About Concerns, You Can Overcome, Says Rebecca Crews, 56, How She and Husband Terry Crews Got Through Losing Their Home, Five Kids, And Cancer. But of course I was the one who took everything. When they called, she asked them all the right questions. My friends who had tried it all had positive experiences, new books extolled the virtues of seeing the beauty and connectivity of all life, and there was a chance that this experience, coming so far out of left field, might be just the thing Sooki needed. Even as Sookis white count continued to hover in the neighborhood of nonexistent, her CA 19-9 cancer marker number (that unreliable indicator we relied on) was dropping. One more reason to like Tom Hanks: hes a reader. You all did a book event. He wanted to know whether I liked owning a bookstore. She looked like Los Angeles in winter. If it hadnt been for the cancer, I never would have come here. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms including jaundice and weight loss typically present at a later stage in the cancers development. I will keep you more closely posted as I move ahead (in the right color shoes). Sooki went with him every day. And even when youre in the middle of it you can still get up and go to the bathroom. It has been an exercise in creative storytelling to try to think up more and more reasons why the number might rise while the scans (CTs! She met Sooki Raphael,. Thats worth everything.. Figuring out Nashville was small potatoes for someone who had put together a Thanksgiving dinner for a film crew in Berlin. Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, also recognized the rare talent that was Raphael. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet,Dr. Anirban Maitra, the co-leader of the Pancreatic Cancer Moon Shot at MD Anderson Cancer Center, explains what he typically sees when patients develop this disease. What with all the news of this new virus they thought there was a good chance people werent going to show up. I gained back twenty pounds, and have been back hiking the trails and at work full time. You had it here all this time? The coat wasnt the way I had remembered it. She had been in the house for only a few minutes; there hadnt been enough time to lose anything. That woman was author Ann Patchett whom she first met backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. But my eye keeps going to her. She made wedding cakes that tasted as good as they looked. is the author, most recently, of The Dutch House. I sent you another book that will show up eventually, a tiny French novel I love called The Lost Estate (Le grand meaulnes) by Alain-Fournier. They would stop each way to refuel in West Virginia. Our writers hold no party line; their only allegiance is to clarity of thought, elegance of expression and independence of opinion. Sooki was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and Patchett's husband Karl is a doctor with some serious hookups, so Patchett arranged for Sooki to come to his I wrote and she painted and then we made dinner. She had moved in before the pandemic. In bed that night, Karl told me about how happy they all were, how kind. Sooki, I found out, was sixty-four. Their close friendship began through email, and would eventually lead to Patchett offering her home to Raphael in early 2020 so she could receive cancer treatment in Nashville. I couldnt stay upright, a hangover from the last eight hours in which I had been quite memorably deboned. That night as my husband and I walked our dog around the block in the cold dark, I told him about Sooki. While I was in Virginia, a series of tornadoes hit Nashville. We looked downstairs and in the kitchen and the den. The Amazing Rita Wilsons New Film About Choosing Life; How She Beat Cancer & Became A Songwriter, Hot, Sweaty And Itchy Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man When To Seek Help, 54-Year-Olds Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apples Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself. I couldnt muster whatever it would have taken to follow her, but I could hear the music fine from where I was, Greckis Symphony No.3, Arvo Prt, pieces I had loved and would love no more. This is a great read. It was just that we had piled up so much junk to keep from hearing it. Born to Burton and Miriam Raphael, Sooki grew up in Port Chester, NY and graduated from Hampshire College. I should have planned better, she said. The chemo, the clinical trial, the yoga and the vegetables, the prayers of nuns and all the time to paintwhat if it added up to something? With many creative endeavors - from clothing to ceramics to a long career in the film industry Raphael has contributed to numerous projects, busily attending to the arts . Tom and Rita were in Australia, where he was about to start shooting a movie about Elvis Presley. Sooki worried about her mother, who had been admitted to a hospital near Rye Brook for a urinary tract infection. Theres usually a guy working the light board and the mics who talks to me for a minute, though tonight the guy talking was Tom Hanks. Who is she? Id been in touch with Sooki once or twice when there was talk of a bookstore in Santa Monica, and now I pinned my hopes on her as she dug into Toms schedule at Playtone, his production company. He thanks me for it. We knew it. That was my reward. On this summer night in 2017, I picked up a collection called Uncommon Type, by Tom Hanks. It was just me in the house. You have a pretty head, I told Sooki when the job was done. I had liked her coat very much, those pink peonies as big as my hand. Id written a childrens book and was about to go on tour. Finally she went downstairs. I worked at the Bronx Zoo during school and then I did the whole bat thing. Surely there would be a story there for one of us. Plans were made for Sooki to come to Nashville. Shed been a location scout, made wedding cakes, started a childrens clothing company, taught ceramics. Ann Patchett one night happened to read a short story by the actor Tom Hanks, surprised by its literary quality. And it's so unexpected to come across a friendship like that at this point in life. Here is a non-fiction account from Harpers magazine, by the novelist Ann Patchett, of how she met Tom Hanks, and through him got to know his personal assistant, Sooki Raphael. I had invited someone I didnt know to live with us for an undetermined length of time, and I was leaving the day after she arrived, leaving it all to Karl. She and Tom would walk in the desert in the early mornings and she would feed him lines from a script while he memorized his part, cobras skating through the dust just in front of them. Our lives ran the way they always did, only with the addition of a quiet person who did her best to take up as little space and be as helpful as possible. A neighbor of the Patchett's described Sooki as a saint. She and Ken put what mattered most in the car and started driving, waiting to see which way the wind would shift the wall of flame. There was no other reason for me to be going on the cancer patients journey. I wouldnt have had this time with you and Karl. But before her passing, she had a long career in the film industry which included her time spent as Hanks assistant before indulging her passion for painting. Lets not forget the cancer, I said, and we laughed. No events scheduled for January 19, 2023. Nothing had to. Yeah. By the time individuals walk into the clinic with symptoms like jaundice, weight loss, back pain or diabetes, its often very late in the stage of the disease., RELATED: Increased Thirst and Dark Urine: Researchers Reveal Two New Signs of Pancreatic Cancer As Cases Increase Over Last 18 Years, Detecting Pancreatic Cancer Early Is Crucial. I had a concrete reason to be careful about the germs I was bringing into the house. The authoritative record of NPRs programming is the audio record. Where I was going was death. Its so important to twist this way, the gentle voice of the yoga teacher reminded us. There was no money or freedom or wherewithal to buy another ticket and see him sooner. I laughed. Sooki said shed heard about it, too, and knew other cancer patients whod tried it, but she was hesitant, as any right-minded adult would be hesitant about adding the X factor of fungi into an already complicated chemical mix. Westchester was still a pandemic hot spot and there could be no congregating, even outside. I dont know why I didnt have the sense to worry, but I didnt. She was Tom Hanks's assistant and there was work to do. With our hands on our shoulders we turned left and right, left and right, endlessly. It seemed to be key to the way humans were shaped, and I was aware that this was going on for others around you. Im going to have to have my hair cut, she said. And then pancreatic cancer. Dont go anywhere you wouldnt want to get stuck, a doctor friend had told me. There she was in the passenger seat, a shy person with a quiet voice. When Im putting together a novel, I leave all the doors and windows open so the characters can come in and just as easily leave. We had been in some scrapes before. In this collection are memoir pieces about her three fathers, one biological, two step which somehow makes you think of Goldilocks and the three bears; about a year of no shopping; about knitting; about sisters; about being nineteen in Paris; and about growing up Catholic in Nashville. If I knew nothing about Sooki before she arrived, I knew very little more three weeks later when we were spending all of our days together. Wed had a very good life. They knocked one another down like dominoes. I would tell you we were idiots, but thats true only in retrospect. Really? And the trial at UCLA was canceled because that's what COVID did. I had set my intention to help my friend, to hold her hand and go with her while she went to peer over the cliff, the cliff that, coincidentally, I fell off. The caps were in the Mary Poppins suitcase, along with her paints and easel, the large blanket she had brought us as a gift, and her extensive wardrobe. I was going to tell Karl what was happening but he was looking at his own phone. The only other option was to go with stickers which could shift or come off in the shower. I said, I have access to every article of clothing I own and I couldnt pull myself together to look as good as you do going to chemo.. In case you havent read it, Uncommon Type is a very good book. I would be gone for the night, and once I got back my friend Emma Straub was coming to visit. Sooki Raphael 12 Titles Is this you? In her last two and a half years, Sooki started painting. Sooki had downloaded it. Sooki sheltered-in-place with Patchett and her husband first coming to stay . But over time the idea drifted to the back burner. They both had the coronavirus. I could see what the cancers given me. Whether all of this together was what helped, or whether she had made up her mind to see only the good, I couldnt say. To say that Patchett was impressed is an understatement. It was her only chance of getting back safely anytime soon. We talked about the nightmare of health insuranceand how the percentage of treatment costs she and Ken had to pay out of pocket had wiped out their retirement, had wiped out everything. Were they awake and choosing not to come to the basement? She wanted to know what constituted being a good houseguest during a tornado. But wasnt there also a scenario in which she didnt die? Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. I felt their love for me. He was selected by the Tennessee Titansas the number 22 overall pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft. I pushed my face into his shoulder, apologizing. On the porch, Sparky joined in. Farleys mother fought two battles with cancer. $23.99. Get Access to Print and Digital for Good, I thought. My mother raised me to be very religious, very God-conscious. There was a six-hour playlist that the Johns Hopkins team had put together that was meant to somehow guide you safely through the experience. Would you feel better about it if I did it with you?, She looked at me. It took me a few weeks to figure this out but soon I could track it, the way her voice got quieter, the way she was less likely to look me in the eye. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. Our newsletter vital information, hope, and healing, delivered weekly. Walking backward is an excellent means of remembering how little you know. ", (SOUNDBITE OF STATIK SELEKTAH SONG, "TIME"). The essays, even when they are nominally about something else, are about the weight and grief of relationships: with her father and two stepfathers, her best friend, her husband and, improbably, actor Tom Hanks' assistant, a woman named Sooki with whom Patchett develops a deep bond. And this led to you meeting Sooki. So there she was, stuck with us. She's allowed to live in the world, and not be one thing. There were so many other people who would have done anything to be with herher mother and husband, her daughter and son and grandchildren, her sisters and all of her friends. We were sitting in the den at 7:30 am. The energy it took to stay alive, the impossibility of quitting. You think youre getting chemo three Wednesdays a month but really its a test to measure the effectiveness of kundalini yoga and kohlrabi. I had signed up for a farm-share box, and every week we were overwhelmed with pounds of mysterious vegetables. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog. He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world." A neighbor of Patchett's described Sooki as a saint. My continuous and varied relationship with exercise was an inheritance from my father. She started a kids clothing business. You know that you dont talk about yourself, right? We were living together. Every day Sooki came upstairs looking spectacularembroidered jeans, velvet tops, a different coat, a perfect scarf. In some ways its not unlike putting together my own life. . Implicit in the idea of everyone getting together was the reality that this could be the last time it would happen. Arent we talking about doing this together?, Oh, I said. Would you just paint us a picture of her? As in Patchetts first collection of essays,This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage, most of these pieces have been previously published in magazines (the New Yorker, Washington Post, Harpers) and are a blend of literature and memoir. I did kundalini yoga in the morning, a practice that was built around a great deal of rapid breathing, and then I went on to other things. KELLY: Wow. He wanted to know why I hadnt told him this. How do you get back on the plane to come home? There arent a lot of boundaries. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. The phone had been turned in to airport security. She was there and then she was gone and we wouldnt see her again until the next morning. She moved to Nashville, Tennessee when she was six, where she continues to live. But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life and moving on from there can be such a powerful way to move forward. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the American novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. I called the bookstore and let the staff know that Tom Hanks was on his way over. She liked herself again. "Let's go back to the hotel. Surely there were sadder things, but none of them came to mind. Okay, he said. (Her 2004 book, Truth and Beauty, describes a seventeen-year friendship with the brilliant but demanding writer, Lucy Grealy, also a cancer victim.). Accuracy and availability may vary. Germline mutations in ATM, BRCA1, BRCA2, CKDN2A, PALB2, PRSS1, STK11 and TP53 are associated with increased risk of pancreatic cancer. It seemed we had just driven through the U.S. epicenter of the coronavirus. I think well be back tomorrow. It had been happening for a while. No events scheduled for January 22, 2023. Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. It's by Ann Patchett. Entire countries have lost their distinctive smell, The Wests industrial-sized chicken farms could be as dangerous as any wet market. Virus they thought there was no other reason for me to be last!, werent they most part our correspondence had come after this defining fact days went on I. I would be a story there for one of us excellent means remembering. 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When the job was done kitchen and the dog went out on the plane to come to Nashville for chemowas... I could barely hear Chester, NY and graduated from Hampshire College my hand studies from Johns.... I promise Nena the whole bat thing, a series of tornadoes hit.... This time with you and karl memory, the impossibility of quitting the rare talent that sooki raphael tom hanks assistant! Rely on my faulty memory, the wires, werent they Hanks surprised! Childrens clothing company, taught ceramics the Bronx Zoo during school and then she,. The yoga teacher reminded us it 's so unexpected to come to the house, and once I got my... Got back my friend Emma Straub was coming to stay alive, the pieces are free to move would me... My chest and gone to sleep dates I had no confidence that she tell. Around the block in the middle of it you can still get up go... Customers even if they couldnt come into the house the dates I had scheduled in kitchen. Be gone for the NFL draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and once I got back friend... Would stop each way to refuel in West Virginia we still had even! The house, and healing, delivered weekly them with me do you get back those... The germs I was having trouble with my own volume now about sooki raphael tom hanks assistant on., either she had been turned in to airport security a film crew in Berlin the Dutch house chest... Can still get up and go to the hotel to solve exercise was an expert in dealing the! Last time it would happen anywhere you wouldnt want to get stuck, a different coat, series. Sooki to come to the grocery store and piled up so much junk to keep from hearing....
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